I thought I was having a stroke. A three day headache with radiating jaw and neck pain, a history of AFib and accompanying questionable cardiac genetics have kept me on my toes monitoring and dialoguing with my GP ( I’m so lucky to have an amazing GP) But what really made me sit up and take notice this week, was the sudden use of the wrong words. Ever since menopause I have cracked jokes about losing my nouns, names and numbers, usually a moment of searching would bring them back but on Sunday when I referred to the refrigerator as the t.v. and then I wrote the word “Kansas” as my work computer password (NOT anywhere near the 12 letters, symbols and numbers that I have for a password) I grew a bit concerned.
I collaborated with a nurse colleague and agreed that I should get checked out. Blood work, ECG and head CT all came back normal. I did not have a stroke. What I have is mismanaged stress.
In case you aren't aware Lovely Reader the last 10 months have stretched me so thin ( metaphorically not physically) that I feel like swiss cheese. All I do is turn from crisis to crisis, patching holes with my finger in an overflowing dam like the little Dutchboy. Don’t pity me, I love my crisis very much and I wouldn’t have it any other way because when the crisis ends there will be a painful void and grief will encompass me.
I choose to continue stopping the gaps with no resentment and a heart filled with love. But following this very clear indication of how mismanaged stress is affecting me I will also do it with some yoga breathing and a walk every evening . And make sure to schedule more time to paint and paddle and squeeze in a kiss.
Losing words scared me.
“Arbutus Point”
Portland Island 2025 Watercolour 20” x 13”
Price: $225.00, unframed
